Hi again!
I couldn't just leave you with that last post without writing about all the crazy good things that have happened in February! I would never do that, because life is too wonderful and too short to dwell on careless people, when I have the most wonderful people surrounding me! So, what do I do when I am coming out of a funk? Well, I just go ahead and have the trillest Black History Month (which is every month, I'm tired of reminding everyone of this) on record. Here are some of those trill things that I did. In list form of course, because duh, it's me:
1. I went to see Black Panther! Not once, but twice! And probably going to see it again, to be honest. It's for the culture, don't @ me! Shout-out to the fam for that amazing day.
2. Went to the ballet! Not once, but twice! Saw Modern Masters performed by the Joffrey Ballet and then I went to go see Misty Copeland with Shantel and Shanel! Not sure what company she is with and frankly, I do not care. I was there for Misty and Misty only.
3. Had a couple of amazing night outs! One being the night before Black Panther were I got to wear my absolutely amazing white sneakers and didn't scuff or scratch them. I like to thank the power of the opening weekend that was Black Panther for that one! I also got told I look like a singer and my head and heart grew three sizes that night.
I also got the title for this post from that night. As Cady sat at a table while I was getting drinks (free drinks as it turned out!), two young men were standing by and having a conversation at our table. One of the young man turns and sees Cady, and proceeds to ask his friend, what do I do?! Cady proceeds to burst out laughing and the young men quickly found other things to do.
Young man, I'm about to give you some pro tips so that you are never in that particular situation again. You are at a bar! Literally the whole system is set up for you to win! A great thing to do, is buy me a drink. Extra points if you notice my drink is low and happen to peep what I am drinking and then get me another one. But, this one is hard to do without seeming like you are a creep. I don't have time to school you on all that. Good luck young man, wherever you are. But, since you are young and white, I'm sure you won't have very many problems in life.
4. Go out on a school night. Now, I wouldn't recommend this. Only do this if your friend is on the aux board of Chicago Gateway Green and is throwing a bomb event with alcohol, food, darts, and the trillest photo booth. Totally worth the hangover I had the next day. Shout-out to Cady for being that aux board member and shout-out to Lezlee for coming with me!
5. I probably also went shopping at some point, because there is no therapy quite like retail therapy.
And that is it! Five simple things I did to get myself out of a funk. On to March we go!
love,
ktv
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
They were careless people
Hello all,
I did sort of promise to keep up with this little blog a little bit better, and ya'll are not about to make me a liar! February has been complete and utter madness, in both the best and worst ways. Let us start off with the worst ways, because I always want bad news first. And since this is my blog, you are going to get the bad news first.
I've had to have some tough conversations and some of my friends have had to have similar tough conversations this month. And what has been most hurtful about those conversations is how careless people were being with our emotions. And I realize, that is not the intention at all, but nevertheless that is how it is being perceived. Above all things, friendship is so very important to me. I joke with people when I first am getting to know them that it takes me a good two years to really get to know you, and decide I like you enough to finally call you a friend. I'll let you in on a little secret though, it's not really a joke. I like to think that I take my time in getting to know others, because once I've decided you are in, you are in. And it is an extremely painful process for me to lose friends that I have cultivated such memories with over the years.
On this beautiful thing that we call life, I want to surround myself and invest in the best. And it hurts like no other when that doesn't work out. I try to make sure that my friends are not temporary items in my life. So, I may not have many, but that's fine, because I do not need many. That is why, in many cases for me, it hurts more to lose a friend then it does a relationship. For my friends are the ones that I turn to when that relationship doesn't work out. Because, 90% of the time there were red flags from the beginning that they tried to warn me about, but since I'm stubborn, I don't listen, and have to run back to them a month, or two, or three, or four later (or even a whole year, depending on how stubborn I am being) and tell them all the things that they already knew.
Because, my friends are wisest, most caring, most compassionate, most loving, most truthful, most beautiful human beings that I have ever come across. And even when I make a mistake and try to date that guy that they told me not to, when I come to my senses they are still there for me. Waiting with food and laughter, because they know the truest way to my heart.
So, when I say that I want to be friends with you and I've started to build towards that, and it seems to start taking a turn into something else, and so I shift only to find out that isn't what you wanted, nor did you have any plans to head in that direction, I'm not mourning the loss of a potential relationship. I'm mourning the loss of a potential friendship. It hurts that you were careless with my boundaries, even if you felt that you weren't or didn't intend to be, because I wanted to be friends with you for life. And now I can not trust you with that. And I am no way a perfect friend. But, I love them all the very best way that I know how and I do hope that they know that. So, when I call you a friend, just know that these words are just a fraction of what I think of you and how much I love you. Do not be careless with your friends, for you mean more to them then you know.
In conclusion, in 2018, we are no longer dealing with careless people. We are continuing to take no L's. We are continuing to stay hydrated, woke and moisturized.
love,
ktv
"I couldn't forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made." - Shout-out to The Great Gatsby
I did sort of promise to keep up with this little blog a little bit better, and ya'll are not about to make me a liar! February has been complete and utter madness, in both the best and worst ways. Let us start off with the worst ways, because I always want bad news first. And since this is my blog, you are going to get the bad news first.
I've had to have some tough conversations and some of my friends have had to have similar tough conversations this month. And what has been most hurtful about those conversations is how careless people were being with our emotions. And I realize, that is not the intention at all, but nevertheless that is how it is being perceived. Above all things, friendship is so very important to me. I joke with people when I first am getting to know them that it takes me a good two years to really get to know you, and decide I like you enough to finally call you a friend. I'll let you in on a little secret though, it's not really a joke. I like to think that I take my time in getting to know others, because once I've decided you are in, you are in. And it is an extremely painful process for me to lose friends that I have cultivated such memories with over the years.
On this beautiful thing that we call life, I want to surround myself and invest in the best. And it hurts like no other when that doesn't work out. I try to make sure that my friends are not temporary items in my life. So, I may not have many, but that's fine, because I do not need many. That is why, in many cases for me, it hurts more to lose a friend then it does a relationship. For my friends are the ones that I turn to when that relationship doesn't work out. Because, 90% of the time there were red flags from the beginning that they tried to warn me about, but since I'm stubborn, I don't listen, and have to run back to them a month, or two, or three, or four later (or even a whole year, depending on how stubborn I am being) and tell them all the things that they already knew.
Because, my friends are wisest, most caring, most compassionate, most loving, most truthful, most beautiful human beings that I have ever come across. And even when I make a mistake and try to date that guy that they told me not to, when I come to my senses they are still there for me. Waiting with food and laughter, because they know the truest way to my heart.
So, when I say that I want to be friends with you and I've started to build towards that, and it seems to start taking a turn into something else, and so I shift only to find out that isn't what you wanted, nor did you have any plans to head in that direction, I'm not mourning the loss of a potential relationship. I'm mourning the loss of a potential friendship. It hurts that you were careless with my boundaries, even if you felt that you weren't or didn't intend to be, because I wanted to be friends with you for life. And now I can not trust you with that. And I am no way a perfect friend. But, I love them all the very best way that I know how and I do hope that they know that. So, when I call you a friend, just know that these words are just a fraction of what I think of you and how much I love you. Do not be careless with your friends, for you mean more to them then you know.
In conclusion, in 2018, we are no longer dealing with careless people. We are continuing to take no L's. We are continuing to stay hydrated, woke and moisturized.
love,
ktv
"I couldn't forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made." - Shout-out to The Great Gatsby
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